There are moments in life – and let’s be honest, in our careers – when we want nothing more than to slip on a metaphorical cloak of invisibility and quietly ghost out of the room. No fanfare. No parting speech. Just a clean exit, stage left.
Sometimes it’s intentional. We’re tired. Or bored. Or simply done with trying to explain ourselves to the same people who ask for input and then promptly ignore it. Other times? It feels like the cloak is thrown on us without warning. One day we’re running the room, and the next we’re wondering if anyone even sees us sitting at the table.
This phenomenon isn’t just about introversion or burnout or being passed over for a promotion (again). It’s about visibility. It’s about presence. It’s about choice.
The Phases We Move Through
We all go through phases. Early career, we hustle. We observe, absorb, and try not to make too much noise while figuring out how the hell everything works. We mimic. We blend. We try on voices and styles until we find our own. And when we do? We start speaking up. Offering ideas. Leading the meetings. Sending the emails that people actually open.
There’s a power that comes with that phase. The “on the stage” phase. We know our stuff. We’re confident. Or at least we’ve gotten really good at faking it with enough swagger to convince others (and sometimes ourselves). We start mentoring. We coach. We become active in community groups or professional organizations and maybe – on a good day – we win some kind of award or recognition.
But then, something shifts. Not all at once. More like a slow fade.
We give the spotlight to others. We let the newer voices be heard. We tell ourselves it’s noble – and sometimes it is. Wisdom, after all, isn’t about hogging the mic. It’s about knowing when to hand it off. But what happens when the handoff turns permanent? When the stage lights dim and no one thinks to turn them back on for us?
We become invisible at work.
Choosing to Be Seen
Here’s where it gets real: sometimes we don’t want to be invisible. Sometimes, being on the sidelines isn’t a choice. It’s circumstance. Or perception. Or just the weirdness of professional aging in a workplace that worships fresh takes and disruptors but doesn’t always value the deep bench of been-there-done-that wisdom.
The cloak of invisibility is a funny thing. Sometimes it’s comfort. A retreat from the noise. Sometimes it’s armor – protection from environments where our voice would be more echo than impact. But sometimes? It’s exile. Silent. Unacknowledged. And that’s when it gets heavy.
So what do we do with that?
First, we name it. Because invisibility has power when it stays unspoken. But once we say, “Hey, I feel like I’m disappearing over here,” something shifts. Others perk up. They nod. Because chances are, they’ve felt it too.
Then, we make choices. Maybe we want the cloak. Maybe we’re done performing and just want to observe for a while. That’s fine. There’s wisdom in the sidelines too. But if the cloak is starting to itch? If we feel overlooked, undervalued, unseen? It might be time to take it off.
Stand up. Speak out. Even if your voice cracks or you feel rusty. Even if your ideas aren’t met with fireworks and applause. Say the thing. Make the move. Ask the question. Be visible, even if it feels awkward at first.
Invisibility isn’t always about volume. It’s about presence. And presence doesn’t require a spotlight – just the decision to show up.
So whether you’re under the cloak by choice or by accident, the question is this: do you want to stay there?
If the answer is yes, that’s cool – own it. Recharge. Observe. Rebuild.
If the answer is no? Show up. Make noise. Because someone out there is waiting to hear what only you can say.
Even if you have to say it twice.
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