Hiring Henchmen, Underlings, and Evil Minions

Hello? Have I reached the Recruiting Department?

The other week, without much else going on, Mr. S. and I settled down on the couch and watched a marathon of James Bond movies. (editorial note: I never liked Pierce Brosnan in the role and, IMO, Roger Moore was the absolute worst.)

As always, when watching any movie that features some evil-doer (ED) focused on disaster, mayhem, and taking over the world, I gave lots of attention to the ED’s side-kicks. Inevitably I began to wonder…

  • How did this guy/gal casually participating in nefarious activities decide this was the career path they wanted to follow?
  • Does one prepare a resume and create a LinkedIn profile in the hope that recruiters reach out?
  • Is there a job board for “Evil Underlings?”
  • Who is the head of TA for the evil organization? 
  • What about recruitment marketing? What sort of messaging is required? 
  • Is the recruiting team working diligently to eliminate bias when creating an applicant pool?
  • Does Susie Recruiter conduct phone screens? Skype? Scheduled/recorded video interviews?
  • What are the competencies and behavioral attributes against which she is hiring?
  • Has Susie Recruiter executed an SLA with the ED? How do those regular check-in meetings go?
  • Are there any skills tests or assessments utilized during the screening process?
  • Who extends the job offer?
  • What does the compensation package look like?
  • Is there a head of HR? A policy manual? An employee handbook?
  • Do evil minions get PTO? Full medical/dental/vision? What about Life Insurance and AD&D?
  • Can you even imagine the premiums for workers comp coverage? 
  • What, exactly, is the projected and actual turnover rate in the organization?
  • If a henchman resigns, who conducts the exit interview?
  • CAN a henchman resign?
  • Does the organization provide letters of reference for an ex-employee’s next gig?

I thought my time in the hospitality/gaming industry presented mad-paced recruiting, sufficiently high turnover and challenging employee relations issues. 

Probably a cake-walk compared to that which is faced by the CHRO of Evil Empire, LLC.

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mage: Lady Penelope Peasoup; Batman 

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The Dark Web of EMPLOYER References

It goes both ways of course; candidates seek information on a prospective employer AND companies search for nuggets of digestible content on a new hire.

LinkedIn profiles are examined and mined not only for information but also for contacts, connections and leads. Various and assorted chrome extensions are added to the recruiters’ toolkit and every nugget of publicly available information is dissected and served up on the new-hire-prospectus. Facebook? Twitter? Snapchat? Who are the candidate’s friends and what, if anything, can we see about what s/he posted, liked, or retweeted?

Fancy and techy and useful…sure. But sweet baby Moses if we’ve sat through one presentation or demo on this sort of stuff…we’ve sat through 100. We get it; tech is our savior and time saver. We can source and search and seek intel all day long.

Yet…

… now, here’s a guy.

He’s a friend and former co-worker who got recruited for a job. He’s been phone interviewing and in-person interviewing. He’s been researching and calling people. He’s been immersed in the voir dire phase with a bunch of know-nothings as he attempts to find out “who knows who and what and when and how did they know it?” He’s been navigating this discovery for a role, and an industry, where people are not online. Glassdoor and Indeed feedback is minimal. (I know ya’ll find that hard to believe. But it’s true.)

His personal research has revealed data-less LinkedIn profiles (if they have one at all) for all the big players. The gig is in an Amish-style industry (who said incestuous? not me?!) where outsiders are rare. Still, at the same time, previous employees and his own personal industry contacts, once known, have fallen off the grid.

Phone calls? Unanswered.

Google searches? In vain.

How, one asks, can he find any meat about that prospective employer when the only food being served is pablum? There are only slim morsels available; lovingly and expensively regurgitated on the company career page. (#EmployeeBranding!! #JazzHands!!)

“Time,” said I, “to head to the Dark Web.”

And then we giggled. Because neither one of us have any freaking idea how to actually ‘get’ to the Dark Web.

BUT… how cool would that be? A secret bitcoin/botnet place where candidates could find info – the real deal! – about their prospective employer.

Priceless.

(not Collinsworth-less) 

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Human Centered Hiring and Culture Fit

The importance of aligning hiring to organizational culture is endlessly discussed, debated, and analyzed. Everyone from researchers to C-suite leaders to HR professionals has an opinion on how to achieve this seemingly elusive nirvana. We constantly ask ourselves, “What’s the best way to ensure the individuals we’re hiring are a ‘fit’ with our culture?”

Most of us have a clear definition of organizational culture; we understand it’s the collective behavior of the people who are part of the organization, as formed by vision, values, norms, systems, beliefs, symbols, and traditions. We know that culture affects the way individual employees and groups interact with each other, as well as customers, clients, and other stakeholders.

[click here to read the rest of this post that recently ran over at Globoforce….]

 

For more on this topic, check out the WorkHuman Radio interview with myself and Bill Boorman, embedded here.

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image: American Horror Story: Cult (season 7; creepy) 

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