Hiring Henchmen, Underlings, and Evil Minions

Hello? Have I reached the Recruiting Department?

The other week, without much else going on, Mr. S. and I settled down on the couch and watched a marathon of James Bond movies. (editorial note: I never liked Pierce Brosnan in the role and, IMO, Roger Moore was the absolute worst.)

As always, when watching any movie that features some evil-doer (ED) focused on disaster, mayhem, and taking over the world, I gave lots of attention to the ED’s side-kicks. Inevitably I began to wonder…

  • How did this guy/gal casually participating in nefarious activities decide this was the career path they wanted to follow?
  • Does one prepare a resume and create a LinkedIn profile in the hope that recruiters reach out?
  • Is there a job board for “Evil Underlings?”
  • Who is the head of TA for the evil organization? 
  • What about recruitment marketing? What sort of messaging is required? 
  • Is the recruiting team working diligently to eliminate bias when creating an applicant pool?
  • Does Susie Recruiter conduct phone screens? Skype? Scheduled/recorded video interviews?
  • What are the competencies and behavioral attributes against which she is hiring?
  • Has Susie Recruiter executed an SLA with the ED? How do those regular check-in meetings go?
  • Are there any skills tests or assessments utilized during the screening process?
  • Who extends the job offer?
  • What does the compensation package look like?
  • Is there a head of HR? A policy manual? An employee handbook?
  • Do evil minions get PTO? Full medical/dental/vision? What about Life Insurance and AD&D?
  • Can you even imagine the premiums for workers comp coverage? 
  • What, exactly, is the projected and actual turnover rate in the organization?
  • If a henchman resigns, who conducts the exit interview?
  • CAN a henchman resign?
  • Does the organization provide letters of reference for an ex-employee’s next gig?

I thought my time in the hospitality/gaming industry presented mad-paced recruiting, sufficiently high turnover and challenging employee relations issues. 

Probably a cake-walk compared to that which is faced by the CHRO of Evil Empire, LLC.

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mage: Lady Penelope Peasoup; Batman 

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