Because I turned a certain age recently I now receive “AARP The Magazine” delivered to my home each month. (as an aside: I still can’t figure out how they know the age of the entire populace of the United States. Satellites? US Census Reports? NSA?)
The cover of the February/March issue which recently landed in my mailbox features a sullen (what else) Bob Dylan and teases us with various tantalizing story headlines: “Heart Health Makeover” and “8 Easy Ways to Live Longer” among them.
Also on the cover, under the headline “Jobs & Money,” are several bullet points promising what lies within the pages. Among these, beginning on page 46, is a story entitled “Outsmart a Younger Boss.”
Because, apparently, when you reach a certain age you have to rely on tricks and wiles as opposed to your knowledge, experience and business savvy.
Yesterday, while performing a bit of business intelligence (also known as trolling the internet), I happened upon a company website which, on the “benefits” section of the career page, proudly states “An annual physical exam for employees 58 and older is provided, at no cost to the employee”
58 is, seemingly, a magic age for something. What that something is neither I nor multiple people on my Facebook timeline were able to determine.
And then, as if it wasn’t bad enough to realize I have to outsmart my boss and am considered to have one foot in the grave when I hit the age of 58, I learned that I’m also destined to be forever behind the 8 Ball in matters of hook-ups love and romance. Well, if I were single and cared about that.
Tinder announced that users of Tinder Plus in the US who are under the age of 30 will pay $9.99 per month for the service. However, if you want to use Tinder Plus but you’re past the age of 30, then you best be prepared to fork over $19.99 per month. Oh…and if you’re in the UK? You start paying more at age 28.
As Evie Nagy wrote in Fast Company “It’s hard, of course, not to see the move as a statement of desirability—set the entry bar higher for older users, you’ll get fewer older users in the pool of available daters. But the truth is probably as Tinder claims. Older people looking for love are willing to pay more for the premium app’s flexibility. We’ll see if that holds once the uneven pricing is now public.”
Play mind games with your boss. Get thee to the doctor. Realize that once you’re over the age of 30 you are undateable.
image: wikimedia commons